As I sit at my desk in my bedroom in my house in my hometown I can't help but feel a little sad that our journey (mine and Moo's) has come to an end. 10 weeks together, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week can really bring a girl and her miniature stuffed cow close together. Undoubtedly the most exciting, entertaining, scary, stressful and amazing 10 weeks of my life.
I left Canada on the morning of Friday May 28th, 2010 with a suitcase, a carry-on and a series of goodluck charms from many of my friends and family. Some were gifts intended for the trip or lent out (and due to be returned), others from days gone by but all of which I hold dear to my heart and remind me of the people I love back home. For those of you who don't know - Moo was a gift from my best friend many many moons ago - he was attached to a keyring that eventually wore out and has been a permanent passenger in my Jetta ever since. It was only a propos that I bring him along for this extended journey of self-discovery. I would almost break into a fit of tears everytime he got lost in the bottom of my purse. When you travel alone - you need your best buddy with you at all times to keep you sane. But enough about that... what did I learn?
I learned so much about the world, cultures, politics, human kindness (and human irritability), food, language, food, the wonders of walking EVERYWHERE, food and most importantly MYSELF. As cliche as it may be, these trips, whether intended as periods of soul searching or not always amount to that. I left at the best of times and also the worst of times. Everything fell perfectly into place so that I could go on this trip, I had the money, time and opportunity to pursue this and like my friends all said "YOU HAVE TO GO!" It was something I had ALWAYS wanted to do and it was the chance to realize my biggest dream (marrying Adam vanKoeverden aside haha). Nevertheless, nothing I ever do can be that simple. I had to stir the pot and throw some fuel (ok more like gunpowder) on the fire that had been becoming my life just before leaving. And by just before - I mean like 20 minutes before my friend picked me up to drive me to the airport. But hey - that's how I roll afterall right? Not to mention I'd be 6000+ km away and wouldn't have to worry about being burned by the explosion. Needless to say it wasn't the best idea but it had to be done and it surely could not wait, or worst, not be dealt with at all. Then fear, jet lag and homesickness set in and sent me on this emotional roller-coaster that I thought would have me coming home within the first week. Will power and self-determination are incredible motivators - and as hard as I am on myself sometimes, one thing I am is determined and stong willed. I just never realized how deeply those traits were ingrained into my being. I forced myself through the hell of that first week and little by little it got easier. Or at least I tried to convince myself that it was. Things back home were still unresolved and I was losing my mind with worry. I know, I know... ME WORRY??? NEVERRRRRR.... HAHAHA Thankfully I made some of the best friends I could ever ask for and I was living in PARADISE! I could not have been more blessed and I kept reminding myself of the dream I was living and each day kept getting easier...
I had a little slip up in between Antibes and Paris when it was soooooo HOT and I was teething and suffering from massive migraines. Travelling+sick = BAD COMBINATION. My sanity started to slip and I couldn't wait to come home. I hated my first days in Paris. It was dirty, smelly, crowded and just plain UGH! I would have traded my BonJovi collection to come home. But then the ickiness faded, I made a new best friend whom I will cherish FOREVER and started falling in love with my life all over again. For Pete's Sakes I was living IN PARIS!!! Suck it up Princess and start having a good time! So I did. So much so that coming home was somehow worst than leaving in the first place. I worked so hard to get through the challenges that brought me to this Zen and now I had to leave it. Heck, I could navigate line 4 of the Paris metro without flinching - that's Zen baby! Just like every good book though, it eventually has to come to an end. And although my adventures might be temporarily suspended, my journey of self-discovery has just begun and I look forward to the many MANY adventures that are sure to be just up ahead.
I left Canada with a broken heart and a need for change and I came back with that change and the realization that a broken heart is only an illusion, what is real are the things, places and PEOPLE that you love and who love you regardless of where you are on the planet. So to all of you who have followed and kept in touch via email/facebook/skype thank you for caring so much. You have all played an integral roll in this journey and proved to me once and for all that "Love knows no borders"
J'vous aime TOUS and it's good to be HOME! xoxo
